The famous movie, The Bucket List is more than a decade old, but its subject matter still resonates with people across the world still today: what should a person do before he or she dies. In the film, the idea was that a person should create his list of pleasurable things he had always been intending to do and then make sure those things got done.
But this idea has a practical side, as well. For the sake of assuring a peaceful, productive reign of his or her legacies upon death, there are a whole host of not-always-so pleasurable matters that most any man or woman should tend to at some point before death. It is often the case that these matters are neglected until the very end of a person’s life, and we will not judge a person based on that. Rather, we simply present you our list of helpful tips as handed down by experts in the fields of psychology, law, death care, medicine and even religion.
Write a Will
Don’t wait until it’s too late to write a will. Many people in today’s world write their first will even while they’re in their late teens or early 20’s. And experts agree that’s a great thing to do. In general, it’s best to have a final will and testament on file in some safe place – that others in your family know about – from the very first day that you have others who depend on you for anything financial: children, a spouse, siblings, parents, or even friends or a workplace. The good news is that you do not necessarily have to hire a lawyer to write a will. Many a trustworthy online service is available these days by which you can fill in standard financial and biographical details on a computerized form and have a formal will, perfectly legal in your state, sent to your email in a few minutes. Just print the document, sign it, and, as we say, tell several other people where it is. And you’re in business, set up to breathe your final breath in peace, no matter when it may occur. This service typically costs less than $100, and, in most cases, you can update the will at least once or twice for free as life’s circumstances require.
Important note: depending upon your circumstances, these services are not always the best alternative. If your financial situation is complex, the best choice might be to just bite the bullet and hire a lawyer to write your will. In most cases, an attorney will charge about $1,500 or less, and, for complicated estates, that’s probably well worth the money for your family. More good news: if your situation is probably best suited for a real attorney, the automated, simple services described above can almost always be counted upon to wisely guide you in that direction.
Plan Your Memorial
As with a will, it’s hardly ever too early to plan out your final wishes for a memorial service, burial or cremation, or whatever other type of disposition you find most comforting. Many a family has benefited tremendously in their time of grief and need at the comforting knowledge that all arrangements for their memorial service – and everything else that typically happens in the week or so after a person’s death – were pre-arranged, and even paid for, by the deceased himself. You can explore options like Cremation Urns, Caskets, Headstones, and Grave Markers to ensure your final wishes are respected. For guidance on what to say during the service, check out What To Say At A Funeral Service.
The death care industry being what it is, families who must arrange a loved one’s funeral and burial (or cremation) often find themselves faced with pressure to make expensive purchases that are not always in the family’s best interest but, rather, are offered in order for a funeral home to take advantage of relatives who are in a weak emotional position to refuse the offers. Experts of all types in many different fields recommend you help your family avoid this uncomfortable, and unfortunate, circumstance by simply arranging your own memorial services while you’re of sound mind and body. (Folks at your local funeral home may not be as eager to serve this need, of course, since they often stand to make much more money from your family if you do not plan in advance. Nevertheless, they will usually accommodate your desire to pre-arrange your services. That said, it may not always be the best idea to involve the funeral home itself in the arrangements (by, for example, paying for funeral services well in advance). It it has been known to be the case in many instances that an unscrupulous funeral director or cemetery manager will simply lose all record of a purchase with the full knowledge that the deceased will likely not keep good record of it either in the decades before his or her death.
Create a Living Will
Another important thing to do before you die is to make sure your family has a living will to present to doctors and hospitals who may end up caring for you in times when you are unable to speak for yourself. A living will is actually a good place to list any funeral and memorial plans you may have for yourself since a will written to guide your estate’s after-death business can often be first consulted (or even located) many months after your death, well after your body has already been disposed of and any memorials have been conducted. A living will, meanwhile, will be certainly consulted directly in a hospital as you lay helpless and unable to communicate your wishes with the outside world. This is the place to let hospital staff and others know exactly what you would like to be done with your remains. (Of course, in general, your family or other legal appointee will typically be required to order that your wishes be carried out as you’ve indicated, but your instructions will be very helpful to whomever ends up with this task.)
In general, living wills can be created in the same way an after-death will is written. Many online services offer both types of wills for a very reasonable cost, and writing them is as simple as answering a few online questions about how you would wish for your unconscious, immobile body to be treated by health care workers and others. Typical questions involve your desire to be artificially resuscitated if your body becomes unable to breathe on its own but can sustain breath via mechanical means. You will also be asked to appoint a spokesperson who can speak on your behalf about your treatment, should you be incommunicado.
Tell Others Your Thoughts
Arguably the most important thing you should do before you death is simply talk to your family about what you wish to have happen after you die. Open and honest discussions of this sort can sometimes be uncomfortable, but that’s okay. They are healthy. Families benefit when their members are not afraid to shy away from discussing important topics with grace and compassion. Psychologists and other mental health care givers say this is an important part of family life that should never be overlooked– but too often is.
Getting started in this type of discussion may be the hardest part, and, for many families, the moment doesn’t arrive until a loved one is on his or her death bed, often too weak to make coherent statements (or even coherent decisions). Do not wait until this difficult time to initiate this sort of discussion. Never be afraid to explain to your family what is precisely in your will (and your living will) and what your preferences are for disposition of your remains and your memorial service. And as you explain these things, it is important to keep a mindset of empathy at the forefront of your thoughts. Pay attention to the reactions you see from your friends and family regarding your plans. If it’s apparent your loved ones are uncomfortable, consider changing your plans. It is important to remember as you make your final preparations, that your plans should, ideally, be as much a benefit to the living as they will be to you and your memory. It is important to strike a healthy balance between your needs to preserve a healthy legacy and the need to assure your beloved friends and family have a comforting, peaceful transition to life without you by their side.
Bucket List
Of course, these business matters mentioned above are not the end-all, be-all of things you should do before you die. There are of course the much less practical – but no less important – matters. And that is what the movie The Bucket List is all about. It is important that all who are contemplating what to do before they die take a few moments to start their list with all the fun, enlightening, or even just plain entertaining things that a person can do in life. There is no right or wrong way to complete this list. The key is, simply, to make sure it’s thorough. This is about as important a list as you will ever compile. It’s vital that you be absolutely sure to leave nothing, or anyone, out.
A lot people, when compiling a Bucket List for themselves, will tend to think conservatively. They will list on the things that they believe to be immediately doable. Ambitious dreams like “jump the grand canyon on a motor cycle” may be left off the list simply because a dreamer has little faith that he or she will ever be able to achieve that dream. Experts in grieving, and in dealing with end-of-life issues advice being open and transparent with one’s desires and goals. It is often the case, they point out, and that a person who has large, wild ideas for something to do before he or she dies finds himself assisted by others in this effort in ways that could not be imagined before. The popularity of the famous charity, the Make A Wish Foundation, is but one example of this phenomena in action. That entire organization comprised of hundreds of people and millions of dollars spent annually has its goal of simply helping people (albeit, usually children) to accomplish their most significant goals before they die should be proof enough that many others are likely willing and able to help you accomplish everything on your bucket list, too. Don’t hold back, experts say. Dream away, and don’t be afraid to tell others about your bucket list dream.
Address Salvation
Many will argue that salvation is, beyond a doubt, the most important thing you can do before you die. And we will not refute that, though it does appear last here in our list. The reason salvation is our final thought is simply that we assume, for most people, it goes without saying that salvation is something everyone will want to obtain before dying.
The good news is that salvation is the simplest of all these things to do before you die. All that’s required is that you ask for it – and then simply allow it to happen. Salvation involves no work. It is free and accessible to every last person on Earth. God simply grants it to all who ask for it.
That said, salvation is also one of the most misunderstood of all things that a person should do before he or she dies. Many assume that it is obtained by great works, for example. They count on their record of good deeds done for others to be stored properly at Heaven’s gates upon their arrival and tallied against the totality of their sins. If the good weights more than the bad, they assume eternal salvation with God will be there’s.
But that is simply not how salvation works. We end this article by repeating probably the most important of all our lessons: salvation is a free gift to all who ask for it. But, if a person forgets to ask for it, he or she cannot receive this most blessed prize of all.