The old saying about life’s only guarantee’s, death and taxes, has one part missing. Probably because it’s about as obvious as anything could ever be: birth. To die and pay taxes, a person has to first be born, of course. So, it goes without saying that birth and death are inescapably linked. Even more so than taxes (because, let’s face it, over the course of history there have been at least a few human beings who have managed by any number of methods to avoid paying in to Caesar and company) birth is as solid a promise for all of mankind as death. Birth and death are the only two common experiences of every human who has ever walked the face of Earth (or whoever will). It is for this reason that the two are worth studying in a similar light.
Infant Death
Probably the most difficult phenomena of all mankind’s history on our planet are the strange, troubling, and all-too-common instances of infant death, legally defined as the death of a child who has not yet reached his or her first birthday. The idea that a young baby could pass away even before his or her brain has developed sufficiently to begin memories is as traumatic as can be. Infant death has been the reason that many a soul has become lost in deep, emotional bitterness, even hatred, toward God himself. It is an existential conundrum, to say the least, putting any man or woman’s strong faith in God’s eternal goodness to a great test with every occurrence.
Nevertheless, infant death is as much a guarantee as life and and death itself. Babies have died for as long as men and woman have walked the earth and, though advancements in medical technology and overall safety gave substantially reduced the number of infant deaths that occur in modern times, there is no reason to believe that the phenomena will ever be eliminated entirely – until God wills such a thing, of course. Yes, though no man can claim to understand infant death, it is enough to simply accept it.
The proper response when confronted with yet another sad instance of infant death is to prayerfully reflect on God’s goodness. It is important to be careful about asking questions of God in such times but, rather, to simply remember that his will is always God, even if it is painful or confusing for us, and even it makes us sad. Mourning the loss of the young life is always a healthy thing to do in cases of infant death, but that should not be mistaken for a revolt against God, the Universe’s main force. No, it is just a manner of coping, struggling with difficult emotions and supreme disappointments.
The bottom line is that experts in many different fields – from psychology to religion to health care – all advise that an open and honest reaction to the loss of a young infant’s life very soon after birth is about as healthy an endeavor as a man or woman can undertake. Even if the reaction is difficult to watch for family members or friends, it is always useful, the experts say, and an outburst of emotion at this difficult time in a person’s life can eventually be turned into shouts of joy for the Lord God when an epiphany is achieved, and the eternally victorious purpose of the death is revealed to all men and women involved. Many will testify, of course, that this purpose is never revealed during a person’s lifetime, but it is assured to us all throughout scripture, and it certainly becomes apparent eventually, and even unexpectedly, in the circumstances of many people who find themselves confronted with an infant death during their lives.
Government Records of Birth and Death
The importance of birth and death to all of human culture is evidence in the amount of record keeping that relates specifically to these two phenomena. In modern, organized societies – and certainly in the most organized cultures of years gone by – the very least of what a person can expect from his or her government is that a record will be made of his very birth and his death. It is true that these records (actually simple certificates in most cases) may not play a significant role in an individual’s life, and they may even contain errors or other falsehoods. But the very fact that a main, important function of just about any government’s is to keep track of when a man or woman is born and when he or she dies, underlies the importance of the phenomena of birth and death in the course of all human lives.
Of further importance is that everyone in a given society that keeps records of births and deaths is treated equally in such matters. A man who is a wealthy boss of thousands will typically have a birth and death certificate just the same as the impoverished, unfortunate mother of two who spends her days wondering how she will feed herself and her children the next day.
Emotional Aspects of Birth and Death
Because it has obviously already occurred, it may seem redundant and confusing to think much of the emotional aspects of birth. But it is nevertheless important and we will return to that later. More importantly to our present discussion is the effect death more obviously plays on our emotional lives.
Death is our constant companion and it comes to us in two forms, our own death, and the death’s of those we know well. Our own death is a constant threat in our lives, a constant bringer-of-stress. Fortunately, the human brain naturally brings various psychological mechanisms to bear on a daily basis and through the course of our lives that the fear of death, or even thoughts of death, can seem minimal. The fact is, for being such an overbearing, guaranteed presence upon any man’s life, its influence is surprisingly tame. This spirit of calmness that typically guides each person’s every life – even every breath – is for many, the very definition of God.
And then there is the death of those in our circle of friends and family (or even the grand celebrities we follow). It is here where death can sometimes, be a devil to contend with. While most of mankind is full well able to handle the life-long emotional stress that comes with the knowledge of his own mortality, it is often the death of another (or perhaps many others) that become too much for a man to accept. Many a man over the course of time has bemoaned a tragic accident, fight, or even full-fledged war, that has taken the lives of those deemed “to young” to die. And how many a hero who tried valiantly, but failed, to save another’s life has ended up turning to God and asking, “Why me, Lord? Why was I the one you spared?”
Questions like that are as troubling and disturbing as can be found in the mind of any man. But God does answer them surely just the same: when men trust in his will, rather than question it, they always find the victory is their – through Him.
Not to the question of the emotional aspects of birth.
Birth is the ever-present spring of life. It is the constant reminder of the promises we mention above, the holy, true promises of God. Every time a birth comes about in this world of ours, we have evidence that miracles, in fact, never cease. How does God assure us that his victory over death is on-going and eternal? By birth, of course.
And when a man or woman takes the time to properly consider that great fact in all its miraculous majesty, smiles can’t ever be tossed away. Though no man has ever been able to express memorable joy at his or her own birth, the happiness of other’s birth is a universal cause for celebration. With birth, God defeats death, day after day, year after year, and century after century. A person can’t help but feel good about something like that.
Family Member’s Roles in Birth and Death
Birth and death play such key roles in the lives of each individual member of the human race that it only stands to reason that they would also play a heavy role in the way family members, friends, and others in our lives related to us socially.
A birth in a family is considered, typically, a time of joy and excitement. It’s a time when God’s gift of life has been bestowed, first-hand, upon the group of people who will be central to the new born. The mood, as established by the social leaders in the celebrating bunch, will almost always be joyous. Even in cases in which a newborn baby comes to a family in circumstances that are less than desirable – say in situations of poverty or even adultery or rape – the arrival of the baby is almost always met with happiness and satisfaction. God’s love, indeed, reigns supreme with every single birth that he brings the world. And that love is contagious to all who dare to encounter it. There is no greater example of this than with the phenomena of birth.
And the roles that family members and friends tend to naturally take on in the event of a death are but a reflection of the love that God always sends His people through his word of love. How many stories have families and friends shared over the centuries – in books, articles and, in modern times, even electronic outlines such as social media and blogs – of families that have come together as the result of a death. For ways to honor a loved one at home, see Memorial Ideas at Home: Creative Ways to Honor a Loved One. Fathers reunite with their lost sons, almost routinely, on their deathbeds. Siblings come together during a funeral for a beloved parent and agree to patch old differences and find ways to heal old wounds. Even the death of a person who has murdered another has a way of bringing out the healing hands of forgiveness and relief in those who had loved the victim.
It is clear that the behaviors that naturally fall to people of all cultures who are confronted with the ugly and confusing reality of death are intended to invoke the one thing that God says is His only commandment for his people: love.
Religious Rites of Birth and Death
The behaviors discussed above that come almost naturally as a result of birth and death have manifested themselves over the history of mankind to become the famous religious rites that are typically attended to upon the birth or death of just about every person in a society.
Birth brings its traditional tidings of good joy and good faith that are at the central part of christenings and even Baptisms typically celebrated shortly after a birth. These religious rites are often considered the most important of all in God’s great plan because, well, they harken back to the Christian idea that God created man in the image of himself. Each birth of a baby human therefore is filled with the hope and beauty of the very birth of God himself (in the form of Jesus Christ, of course), and that great idea is at the very core of the many religious – and eternally hopeful – ritual celebrations that are centered around the mystery of birth.
And, finally, likewise for death.
Funeral rites are typically filled with hope and glory of all that is good. Rarely is a negative word uttered at a memorial service for a man or woman who has died. Even those who considered the person in question to be their mortal enemy while living will often routinely attend a funeral service and speak, truthfully and emotionally about their love for the deceased. This is the sort of thing that all men experience at least a handful of times in their lives as those to whom they are acquainted pass away into the grips of death. But, as we see all throughout this piece, those grips are always weak. God, not death, will always be the winner in this wonderful universe of ours.