In the discussion of whether cremation or burial is the best choice in a given case for a specific family or individual, one of the arguments against cremation is that it can lead to situation in which no permanent memorial is available for the family members of the deceased to visit in the days, years and months after a funeral service or memorial ceremony has been held. The idea that there will be no permanent resting place upon which family and friends may visit on special occasions (or just at random moments when the emotional need arises) can be about as discomforting as can be. Fortunately, this argument is not entirely accurate.
The fact is, there are plenty of options for creating a permanent memorial, even in cases of cremation. Even further, this is true even if the decision has been made to scatter the remains – or most of the remains – over a special place that has great meaning to the decease or the family members most affected by the death. Below we list and discuss just a few of these very memorialization options that have proven to be very helpful, both emotionally and financially, to many modern families who had anticipated that cremation might lead to emotional turmoil in their lives.
Cremation Memorial Options in a Cemetery
More and more cemeteries in today’s death care industry are offering an amazing variety of memorial services for families who’s loved one have been cremated. In most cases, cemeteries today allow families to use traditional grave plots to bury cremation urns filled with the cremation remains of their loved one (see our guide on What Size Urn Do I Need? A Complete Sizing Guide to help select the right size). Though these establishments will almost always deny requests to bury the ashes directly in a plot without any container, they commonly allow families to bury one (or more, sometimes three or four) cremation urns in a single burial plot without the use of a coffin or casket. Taking advantage of this cremation memorial option means that, just as with traditional grave sites in which a casket is buried in a cemetery, families have a permanent place in which to return regularly for memorial ceremonies of all sorts, whether they involve dozens of people or just two or three, whether they be organized affairs or impromptu gatherings.
For those who might be uncomfortable with the idea of a cremation urn for their loved one, most cemeteries today now set aside a portion of their property as “scattering gardens” in which families can scatter the remains of their loved ones. Though it is exceedingly unlikely that the remains will stay on the cemetery property for long once they have been scattered over the garden (no one can know for sure, however, of course), the permanence of this memorial option is then captured by the installation of some sort of memorial plaque or brick as part of the landscaping of the scattering gardens themselves. In some cases, even, the memorial takes the form of a special bench or even a sculpture that is installed in the garden for the enjoyment and use of all who may visit. Some may initially be attracted to this cremation memorial option because it seems as if it might be a money saver – if the expense of a cremation urn can be avoided. Unfortunately, however, most cemeteries discover that the local market will allow them to ask higher prices for memorial spots in their scattering gardens sections than they might ask for burial plots that have been modified to accept cremation urns. In many cases, the scattering garden “plots” command three or four times the price of a traditional burial site.
Cremation Memorial Options in a Home
For many people and families, the thought of spending a great deal of money on a permanent memorial at a cemetery is about as unpalatable as they come. And, for those people, it is likely welcome news that the nature of cremation offers plenty of permanent memorial options in a private family home. Many families have found themselves very satisfied with beautiful heirloom-quality display cases that serve perfectly as homes to memorial displays of cremation urns containing the ashes of their beloved family members. Many of these displays contain space for other memorabilia such as family photos, military medals and other insignia and souvenirs that capture the spirit and purpose of a person’s life. And perhaps the biggest attraction for this type of cremation memorial is that it costs nothing other than the price of the display case and the cremation. In many cases one or both of these pieces can be hand made by artists directly in the family (or who are friends of the family), making the memorial even more cost effective. So, from a perspective of emotion and finance, a home cremation memorial can be about the best memorial value available anywhere.
One of the drawbacks cremation memorials put on display in a home is that families must agree on what will happen to the display if the home is sold or vacated by its owner. Many sad stories exist on the internet in which cremations urns with remains that are decades old end up abandoned when a family elder who had been their caretaker passes away without anyone selected to take over the care of the urns. In such cases legal authorities can sometimes get involved, requiring that the remains simply be unceremoniously poured over some obscure place or buried in a spot that has no value or meaning to the life of the deceased. And in almost all of these cases, the final resting place goes unmarked, leaving the deceased at risk of being unremembered for the ages. Families can avoid such sad scenarios that leave their predecessor open to an undignified end by simply making very certain that adequate legal paperwork has been left on file with appropriate authorities and/or family members who will agree to do the responsible, respectful thing by their family’s precious heirlooms.